Three years ago, my then 18yr old daughter, shared with me she was pregnant. She did the super cute surprise thing by giving me a sweet little pink pastry box with a frosted cookie inside announcing that she was having a baby.
My emotions were so confused. I was recently separated from her dad, living in a two bedroom rental, trying to figure out my own crap and doing my best to be there for my 3 children. I have two daughters and a son.
How was this going to work? I couldn’t think clearly. My first reaction was not to jump for joy and embrace her and tell her how much I love her — that we’d get through this. Instead, I told her that I’d support any decision she made and I’d be here for her.
What was I saying? I’d support any decision she made? How could I have been so unemotional and empty with my response?
It was fear.
Fear is the ninja that attacks our presence and shuts us down emotionally. I was scared for her, for the baby, and for me. I didn’t know if we could do this. I unfairly assumed that the responsibility would fall on me and I knew I just couldn’t take more.
Then I remembered two things—one, this wasn’t mine to do, it was hers. And two— of course she could do it . . . And she has.
Today I have a beautiful, super social and loving, precious baby grand-daughter whom I love with every ounce of my being. Every time I’m with her I see how well socialized she is, I see how loved she feels, I’m blown away with her vocabulary and her sharp memory—it all shows me that her mom and her dad are doing a very good job. I couldn’t imagine having my daughter take any other option than to bring this beautiful girl into this world and into our lives. She is truly a blessing for us all.
Fear still erupts, but I have more awareness now and more skills on how to deal with it. And for that reason I want to be here for all of the other newby glammas. you. Some days it’s scary and you wonder if your grand baby has everything they need and other days you recognize that if they are loved and cared for, they’ll be more than okay. It helps to have a community of friends who remind you what is most important and what really matters.
I love my role. I love hearing that sweet voice call my name—Aba. And I love knowing that I have the confidence, the resilience, and all the love in the world to be the best mother and grandmother I can be and I am proud of my daughter. As much as my role is to love my grandbaby, I have an even more important role to encourage, support, love and celebrate my daughter.
I’m a grandma and today I’m jumping with joy!